He was a senior in highschool. I was a single mother of 2 in college. He was leaving for college in the fall; moving 6 hours away. I was working & in college while raising my precious angels. A decade went by without ever seeing him. One night changed my entire life. When those blue eyes & curly hair walked by, I thought somebody had slipped smthn in my drink! I thought I must be seeing things! I froze. Picked my heart up out of my stomach & carried my legs over to find out if what I was seeing was real. Later he told me that as soon as he heard my voice call his name he knew. All of those years I thought his voice was the most beautiful sound that I would never hear again...all the while, he had always cherished mine as well. The timing was bad again; but yet, it was a beautiful disaster. We were both in "complicated relationships" as Facebook would label it. We briefly caught up on 10 years in about 2 mins & said our goodbyes... I thought it would be another decade waiting to hear his voice again. I was wrong. Later I learned that his "date" that night was a rebound desperation & he learned that my already "complicated relationship" had become an abusive one. FYI: domestic violence IS real & any object thrown to cause harm & bust capillaries causing pain & bruises IS CDV. I had been abused much worse in the past. But, I made a promise to myself & my children to NEVER condone it again. That night was the beginning of the end of my complicated relationship. Yet, it was not the end of the abuse; not yet. Psychological, emotional, physical & sexual are all forms of abuse. The humiliation was escalating & my self worth was deteriorating. By the time I finally started my life over AGAIN, I was pretty defiant when it came to men & especially relationships. "Hard to get" is an understatement. "Boyfriend" was not allowed in my vocabulary. I adamantly refused to even say the words "committed", "relationship" or especially "marriage". Period. Davey eventually moved back to town. It was awesome having my best friend living in almost walking distance away! But, to this day, he says I gave him H-E-"double hockey sticks"! I think at one time he feared I may even stop liking men lol! It is crazy BC after my 1st divorce, the MD's would giggle at we nurses conferencing about "finding Christie a new husband"... even had one try to set me up with his bestie cardiologist. But, this time was different. I knew I had a best friend who I could spend the rest of my life with & I was scared to death. I was scared of being hurt but I was also scared of losing him before he was even mine to lose. I think my parents were scared I would say "NO" the night Davey was going to propose. He was a perfect gentleman. He had already taken Mama & Daddy out for dinner & asked for their permission & blessings well before he asked me to a romantic dinner. His timing was perfect although he admitted later he was scared to death. He had arranged the entire evening. The chef had a bottle of wine chilled @ our table (we had the entire dining room to ourselves); gourmet meal courses served at perfect intervals & banana fosters to top off the unforgettable night after I said YES! Although our timing was off for 12 years.... God's timing is always perfect! We just remind ourselves that those wasted years were what made us who we are today. The time apart makes us appreciate each other & remind us that a decade is too much time to lose again. The hard times made us stronger. The failed relationships taught us how to pass our love life test with flying colors. The years lost remind us to not ever waste another moment. Last, but not least, without that lost time, we would not have all of our awesome children & grandchild(ren). Everything happens for a reason. We may not understand it at the time, but we are not supposed to question. Just sit back, tighten your seat belts, & hang on for the roller coaster of life! Live each moment like there is no tomorrow. Time is precious & timing is everything.
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